Living a Values based life
Megan Pike, MEd, LPC-Associate, Supervised by Saharah Shrout, LPC-S
You’re trying to go about your day...text a friend back, play with your child, make a simple decision...but you keetp getting interrputed by intrusive thougths that bring up doubt, fear, or the need to feel “certain.” It can feel like you’re being pulled in two directions at once: toward temporary relief from anxiety, and toward the life you actually want to live.
What Does It Mean to Live a Values-Based Life?
Living a values-based life means choosing your actions based on what truly matters to you, rather than what OCD demands in the moment. This idea comes from therapies like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), often used alongside Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).
In plain terms, it’s about asking: "What kind of person do I want to be right now?" and letting that answer guide your behavior, even if anxiety is present.
Values aren’t boxes to check off; they’re ongoing directions, like being a caring friend, a present parent, or someone who acts with honesty and courage. OCD, on the other hand, pushes you toward short-term relief, avoiding triggers, seeking reassurance, or doing compulsions, which can slowly pull you away from those values.
What This Can Look Like in Daily Life
In real life, this might look like:
- Sending a thoughtful text to a friend even when OCD tells you to keep editing it until it feels “perfect.”
- Staying engaged with your child, listening, playing, being present, while intrusive thoughts come and go in the background instead of trying to neutralize them.
- Making a decision on your own, even when you feel the urge to ask someone else for reassurance that it’s “right.”
In each case, the goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety, but to make room for it while still moving toward what matters.
Taking the First Small Step
If you want to try this, start small.
The next time OCD shows up, pause and ask yourself:
“If OCD wasn’t in charge right now, what would I choose?”
Then take one small step in that direction, even if it feels uncomfortable.
You Don’t Have to Do This Perfectly
If this feels difficult, that’s because it is. Living with OCD is challenging, and choosing values over fear is a skill that takes practice.
You don’t have to do it perfectly for it to count. Small, consistent steps can help you build a life that feels more meaningful, even with anxiety along for the ride, and you don’t have to figure it out alone.
At OATH Therapy, we understand how exhausting OCD and anxiety can feel. Therapy can provide a supportive space to learn evidence-based tools like ERP and ACT while reconnecting with the life and values that matter most to you. Reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness, it’s a meaningful step toward living more fully, even in the presence of uncertainty.