When the Kids Are Home and Anxiety Creeps In: Letting Go of Summer Guilt and Embracing ‘Good Enough’
Summer break can be a source of joy and also a source of intense pressure for mothers. With school out, routines disappear, and suddenly you're expected to entertain, nourish, supervise, organize, and somehow still find time for yourself. If you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or guilty that you're not doing enough, you're not alone.
At OATH Therapy, we often hear from mothers struggling with anxiety and perfectionism during the summer months. The house is messier, the schedule is looser, and expectations, both internal and external, feel higher than ever. This post explores what’s happening beneath the surface and how you can support your mental health throughout the summer.
The Summer Spike in Anxiety: Why It Happens
The shift from structured school days to unstructured summer time can feel like a loss of control. For mothers managing anxiety, that unpredictability may heighten feelings of restlessness, guilt, and overwhelm. Common triggers include:
- Lack of personal time or space to recharge
- Constant sensory stimulation and noise
- Comparing yourself to “Pinterest-perfect” summer moms
- Financial stress from camps, vacations, or extra childcare
- Pressure to make “magical summer memories” every day
From “Perfect Mom” to “Present Mom”: Challenging Summer Guilt
Many mothers carry internal beliefs such as:
- “If I were a better mom, I’d enjoy this more.”
- “I should be making this summer unforgettable.”
- “I’m failing them by not having everything planned.”
These thoughts are often rooted in perfectionism, which frequently accompanies anxiety. But children don’t need perfect, they need present. You deserve compassion, not criticism.
Mindset shift to try: Instead of saying, “I didn’t do enough today,” try “I showed up the best I could today, and that matters.”
Practical Coping Tools for Summer Anxiety
Here are six strategies to manage anxiety and reduce the pressure to be perfect:
1. Anchor the Day with Two Simple Touchpoints
Choose just two activities to give the day some structure, such as morning outdoor play and afternoon quiet time. A loose framework can ease stress without requiring a full schedule.
2. Protect Your Personal Time
Reserve 15 to 30 minutes daily for a non-negotiable moment of rest. It can be as simple as sitting quietly with a book or going for a short walk alone.
3. Simplify the To-Do List
Prioritize only the essential tasks. Focus on meeting basic needs, rest, meals, connection, rather than aiming for high-effort projects or themed activities.
4. Challenge Your Inner Critic
When your internal dialogue becomes harsh or judgmental, pause and ask, “Would I speak to a friend this way?” If not, reframe the thought with compassion.
5. Use a “Good Enough” Mantra
Repeat an affirmation such as, “It’s okay to be a good-enough mom today.” This can serve as a grounding phrase when anxiety builds.
6. Seek Out Connection
Even a short message to another mother or a conversation with a therapist can help reduce feelings of isolation. Support is a critical part of mental health during high-demand seasons.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve found yourself thinking, “I’m not cut out for this,” remember that your concern and effort already reflect the depth of your care. That in itself is meaningful.
If summer anxiety is interfering with your ability to function or enjoy life, therapy can provide the support and tools you need. At OATH Therapy, we help mothers navigate anxiety, perfectionism, and burnout through evidence-based, compassionate care.
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