Living with OCD can feel exhausting. Many people describe spending hours each day trying to feel “just right,” reduce anxiety, or gain certainty just to find out that relief does not last. If you are struggling with OCD, it makes sense that your world may revolve around avoiding discomfort, but it is important to note that there is nothing wrong with wanting peace. The problem is that OCD often promises safety while quietly taking your life hostage. Values-based living offers a way to step out of that trap and begin moving toward a life that feels meaningful, even when anxiety is present. Here at the OCD & Anxiety Treatment of Houston (OATH), we aim to show you the importance of values-based living.
What is values-based living?
Values-based living comes from a modality known as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Rather than focusing on eliminating anxiety or intrusive thoughts, this approach emphasizes living in alignment with what matters most to you. Values are not goals to complete or feelings to achieve. They are on going directions, such as being a loving partner, an honest person, or someone who shows up for others. You decide what your values are, and by living through them, you are starting the process of taking back control of your life. In OCD, compulsions often become the decision-maker, making you believe that you cannot do something unless you are absolutely certain. Here at the OCD Anxiety & Treatment of Houston, we will encourage you to lean into that uncertainty while practicing values-based living. When prioritizing values-based living over the urge to compulse, you start to ask yourself: “What would I do here if OCD was not in charge?” This perspective is especially powerful when practicing ERP, where discomfort is tolerated in service of a larger purpose and not as just a means for temporary relief.
Practical Examples of Values-Based Living with OCD.
Lets pose one example of Values-Based living with OCD. Someone with contamination-based OCD may value being a present parent. Instead of compulsively washing their hands to reduce their anxiety, they may choose to play with their child despite feeling discomfort, because connection matters more than certainty. To give another example of this, we can look at someone who has moral or scrupulosity based OCD. Lets say this person values honesty and personal growth. They may choose to resist mental checking or reassurance seeking and allow uncertainty to exist so they can live in line with their beliefs and not OCD’s rules. Starting to understand the difference between compulsions versus values-based living?
One Small, Doable Takeaway.
Now that we better understand what Values Based living looks like, lets take some time this week to practice this skill! This week, I encourage you to try and identify one value that matters to you and take one small action aligned with it, even if anxiety shows up. You don’t need to feel ready or calm for this to work. Values-based living isn’t about feeling better first; it is about choosing how you live in spite of what you feel. OCD may be loud, but it doesn’t get to decide who you are, and the more we practice that, OCD may suddenly not sound as loud as it once did. And guess what? That is proof of your own growth when it comes to distress tolerance!
Need Support?
If you, or someone you know, could benefit from support on living a values based life in the midst of difficult experiences, our team of compassionate clinicians are here to help. Reach out today to schedule a consultation and take the next step forward.